I was raped this summer as I desperately sought a safe place to land after Sacred Stone Camp ended.

Although LaDonna's daughter had people staying on her land, people waiting for Sacred Stone Camp to return to the Cannonball Reservation, it was not an option for me. The amount of alcohol abuse and fighting that was going on there was not conducive to healing. While staying in Wakpala with other Sacred Stone refugees, a person had a knife pulled on them, another person was beaten up and other people didn't feel rested or safe. LaDonna's daughter and husband even kicked out LaDonna's sister, a beloved Sacred Stone cook. I was told LaDonna never visited anyone while they waited on her daughter's land.

LaDonna did email me and explained how she was sick of people staying in her private home, suffocating her - she told me she was trying to get people to leave.

I committed to LaDonna and was put in a horrific situations as a result. During one of my attempts to "land" and decompress, post Sacred Stone, I was invited to stay with one of LaDonna's very favorite Sacred Stone mail people. It was a shocking situation, having no clue or warning how psychotic it would be. This person was fueled by intense alcoholism and was beyond abusive. What you and I witnessed at camp from this person was not what I experienced in his home. It nearly killed me.

While staying with LaDonna's favorite mail person, I discovered how much our mail people stole from Sacred Stone Camp, keeping thousands of dollars in money gift cards for themselves. They also took cash from the safe. At least two of LaDonna's favorite mail people had no need to share with the entire camp, they did very well for themselves. They ate delicious, organic food from the food co-op in Bismark. They had access to funds and got anything they needed, none of us the better or wiser for it. They shared sporadically with those they exploited, needed or cared for - but most of us suffered for their wealth. Ucenter Dress wedding garment for mature women over 40

Someone told me that LaDonna had been fired from her last job, I don't know this for fact; it does provide a frame of reference if it's true. Most of you have no idea how LaDonna divided our camps and pitted people against one another. It was a confusing and devastating experience to listen to her words to the camp community then hear how she spoke in the comfort of her own home.

I'd come to care for and love my new Sacred Stone family with all my heart. My posts are not anger, I write facts. It was what much of our reality was and what I learned in depth, after Sacred Stone Camp ended. As our camp was being rushed off Cannonball Reservation land, LaDonna would not take our calls or text messages. The Oceti Sakowen Camp medics saw us safely out of camp.

Since posting my experience, many have reached out to me privately to confirm my experiences and explain even worse they've observed from LaDonna Bravebull Allard. Some who've shared with me are her own family and former dear friends.

An honorable camp member and medic was staying with LaDonna this summer, she was with LaDonna when LaDonna used our Sacred Stone Camp funds to purchase her young granddaughter a new home and start remodeling her own home.

Now LaDonna's granddaughter often pulls out wads of hundred dollar bills and tells people how rich she and her family are now. Those funds belonged to the entire camp, they were sent to care for each of us. It's staggering for me to think on it all, when I consider all myself and others have survived since camp and how my dear, new family ended.

I don't need help to send me to Portugal or Paris for my birthday, I'm not asking you to buy me a new home, (though I'll not turn that down). I need help to survive and thrive.

I feel forcibly divided from people I love and hold very dear. People who are desperate to believe in LaDonna and those LaDonna pays off or now spoils, in order to gain their loyalty and silence. My and other's honesty has inspired LaDonna to start helping others, with Sacred Stone Camp funds. It's wonderful and sickening, all at once. Despite what some of you assume, I'm not angry or bitter. The written word appears flat. I've received a battery of questions I don't have the energy for - it's easier to include the answer to the most common questions, in my posts.

After camp, some of my friends returned to their homes or chose to travel before returning home. Some went back to families, while others went on to other camps and causes. Some of us must heal and decompress. I've been trying to stay alive, find safety and regain my independence. I've fought and stood for land and water rights for well over ten years, I'll not give up on the movement, I simply need rest. I've recently discovered I require surgery.

Although I've only described a few of my harrowing experiences, post Sacred Stone, none of it has driven me to hate.

I need help and it's difficult for me to have to reach out and ask. I'm getting closer to regaining my independence but I need basics to survive and find work. An adult bus pass where I currently stay is $70 a month. I need a bus pass for two months, while I seek employment. I need a coat with a hood that looks nice enough to interview in, while protecting me from the wind and rain. I need shampoo, organic vitamins, bath soap and toothpaste. I'd love to eat clean, green foods and I am not eligible for food stamps. If it is imperative you know why I'm not eligible, private message me.

Instead of feeling abandoned and held at arm's length, I need to feel appreciated, supported and trusted. I am an honorable Red Earth Descendant who served Standing Rock and Sacred Stone with humility and respect.

If you or someone you know is able to help me, my PayPal address has a total of FOUR e's. It may be easier to copy and paste: [email protected]

Chi-miigwech
Mahalo and much love